When WiFi Goes Mad

By Vikki Chowney

This past weekend I was sitting in the shade of the London Eye, when a friend of mine beckoned upwards and said; 'you know that's WiFi enabled now, right?' After a good minute or so of slightly bemused silence, I ended up biting back all of the potential for sarcasm and just said no.

The bizarre nature of this conversation aside, the discussion then moved on as we all wondered just why on earth you would visit the London Eye, and feel the need to check your email halfway around the 30 minute ride.

The only possible use I could think of for making one of London’s biggest tourist traps wirelessly accessible would be uploading shots of the view in real-time, or at least very quickly. But surely that's only relevant if you happened to be a professional cameraman or videographer, and even then you'd most likely have your own dongle.

I'd bet that 95% of the people visiting the wheel are in fact just there to enjoy themselves. When I went up, I did indeed upload my photos using Shozu, but I used the 3G-network connection on my mobile (go figure, one of the few places I actually had signal on 3).

It struck me that installing this technology was a bit of a waste of time and was probably just carried out so that the site would tick a box. However, it also got me thinking about other bizarre places to make WiFi enabled, and after a bit of research, I unearthed some real eyebrow-raisers. Check out these beauties:

EZ Lube

Let’s look beyond the ridiculous name for this American chain of oil change experts, checking your email is just what you want to do while you’re up to your neck in grease isn’t it?

The Capitol Cinema in Horsham, UK

I don’t know about you, but when I go the cinema, I actually want to*watch* a film, not spend two hours live-tweeting it (which technically, I could do using my phone if I was that way inclined). Yes, this particular spot is installed in the 'bar' area, but I still can't see anyone cracking open their laptop.

Benches

I actually have a slight soft spot for these, and can see them working well in a School or University, but for outdoor use? Probably not the first thing on your mind when you’re out walking the dog.

Patong Beach, Thailand

Picture it. You’ve arrived at one of the most beautiful and tranquil beaches in the world, you reach down for a drink, maybe go for a swim…then come back to check the next day’s weather on your MacBook Pro. Of course.

The Whirlpool fridge

Unless you’re choosing to rely on your fridge as the only provider of WiFi in your home (which I wouldn’t recommend), this is like buying a mobile phone to use in your kitchen, while having a second one that you use for all the other rooms in the house.

Alexander Vasserman's dentist surgery in Beverly Hills

I can almost understand the reasoning behind the others on this list, but this is the actual surgery - not the waiting room - the place where you sit in the chair and get drilled! Who in their right mind would even attempt to go online with someone poking at their teeth?

The Vatican

Yes, WiFi was introduced by Motorola in 2004 to the place where thousands of Catholics go on a pilgrimage to every year. I’m betting it’s not to go online though, but then again, nothing’s scared (groan).

Just as I finished writing this, I read a piece about WiFi being enabled in-flight via various airlines, and the author took a slightly negative view of this development. For me, that’s one of the most useful and obvious places to install wireless broadband. Many will argue that for those that travel a lot, it’s a nice rest bite and disturbing the peace is ‘madness’, but honestly, just look at the list above for a bit of perspective.

I think that these few examples are very telling proof points of our constant need to be online, all the time, without fail. But they are extreme in some instances, and to me, reinforce the need to just switch off sometimes. It really won’t kill you.

POSTED IN: TECH
Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:00 (GMT+00)
2 Responses
1.

Great article, and agree with you 100% about flying, we travel a lot (duh - american wife!) and its such a pain to be on a plane for 11hours, especially when you have a site to maintain.

I do however, believe that mobile phones should remained banned, wifi laptops are one thing (disturbing very few), but listening to someone on the phone to their best mate while at 30,000 ft is not my idea of a disturbance free flight.

iain
Thu, 04-Jun-2009 15:51 GMT
2.

Agreed, mobile phones are a step too far. You can sit and tap away quietly with WiFi but chatting away is fairly intrusive!

Vikki
Thu, 04-Jun-2009 20:20 GMT

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