Respect is something that's murmured about online, but is hardly
ever directly discussed. We all complain about the lack of it when a
popular blogger is harassed, stalked or threatened - or when we ourselves are a victim of one of the latter.
Respect online is a huge thing. Massive. Immeasurable.
So,
let's talk about it now. What bothers me, is that beyond people being
complete dicks to each other in comments, on Twitter in front of their
1,500-something followers, or in blog posts - it would appear that now
people are completely comfortable being complete assholes in person.
People
have been assholes forever, but it's strange to me that sort of the
online Dickish culture is being directly translated into IRL Dickish behavior. People who make their living online seem to be increasingly comfortable being a Dick
in person, and even on stage at major tech conferences.
The
Online Trolls who like to tell what a pathetic piece of shit you are in
an anonymous comment, are the same people who will now come up to you, spit in your face, and then run away like a coward.
What the the hell is wrong with people?
I used to believe that if someone's going to be a dick online, why
can't they just have the balls to be a dick in person. "SAY IT TO MY
FACE!", right? But now, after Mike Arrington has had some tool spit in his face, I'm really feeling like we shouldn't have the philosophy of
having the balls to say what we'd say online in person, but to just ACT
LIKE A DESCENT HUMAN BEING in both realms - digital or physical.
I've
noticed a massive decline in decency and respect while out and about at
different networking events, recently. Things that claim to be open and
friendly, are simply the exact opposite. People who are friendly to you
online and follow you on Twitter, will quite happily ignore you or
treat you like crap in person. (Or simply follow your ass to the bar,
and expect you to buy them a drink because DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THEY
ARE?!)
Why are things so disconnected?
People think that for some
reason, just because you're *friends* online, or that because you're in
the same business, or because it's suddenly become acceptable to behave
a certain way in this industry that all other "traditional" forms of
common decency and politeness are to be ignored.
Take for example the following questions that I have heard asked over and over the past few weeks:
- "Is you website/start-up actually making any money at the moment?"
- "What are you stats like? How many UU do you get in a day?"
- "How much is your business worth?"
- "Do you even think your start-up/project will ever make any money? Ever?"
All asked with a smug, gossipy, if not competitive look of contempt.
Come on, I dare you to answer me.
Hey, I know, why don't you just ask me how much I weigh, what size my jeans are and how big my cup size is next?
These questions are all incredibly RUDE.
You
would never go up to someone and within two seconds of meeting them ask
how much money they make a year? Or how much money they have in the
bank? Would you ask a new couple how many times a week they have sex? A
middle-aged woman you've just met how old she is?
NO!
So why would you ask an entrepreneur or a new
business owner or even a blogger how much money they make and/or what
their specific stats are upon first meeting? IF AT ALL?
Not
everyone wants VC funding. Not everyone is driven by pound/dollar
signs. Some people do things despite knowing that they may fail at it,
and may never make any money, you know - for the love of it.
I do not care if you are PR and are used to asking people how
many page views they get a day because you ask your clients that.
Someone you've just met at an event is not your client.
I don't care if you're in the "having an idea, getting funding,
selling your company and then starting all over again every three
years" business. That doesn't give you the right to ask how much money
someone's business is making.
I especially do not care if
you're some competitive entrepreneur who gets a kick knowing that
you've raised more funding than the next person - it does not give you
the right to ask every start-up in the room how much money they've got.
Whether
it's spitting in someone's face, asking an entrepreneur how much money
they make, or ignoring the guests that have made the trip out to your
event - they're all disrespectful.
In horrific times like
these, the last thing we need is our coworkers, and even competitors to
act like complete dicks, or IRL Trolls.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That lady with the magnificently large bow on her head knows her shit.
Image via Wikimedia