The Rise of Anti-Social Media

By Vikki Chowney

I’m stepping off my social media box for a minute to have a rant. I’m obviously using this medium on a daily basis; it makes up a huge part of my work and social life. But the effect it’s having on in-person, face to face communication is simply disastrous.

I sat in a meeting last week with four people around a table, and spent a good 10 minutes waiting for everyone to put their phones down and look me in the face to continue the conversation.

Yes, we’re all busy nowadays, and web access is very useful. But it’s also much more intrusive. When sitting around having an impromptu meeting, you’re less likely to power up your laptop mid-conversation – it’s just too bulky. But a mobile is just THERE, and if you’re conversing with your followers on Twitter, or checking your emails - you aren’t connecting with the people in front of you.

It’s almost an accepted practice at many of the events I go to, and one I’m most definitely guilty of. But it’s taken a long time for me to come around. When I first started working in this space, and walked into a meeting where everyone was glued to their laptops, I couldn’t help but think what the point was of these people being in the room.

I know, I know - efficiency and all that. But surely turning your computer off for half an hour and truly listening is more effective than zoning out and splitting your time between 3 or 4 different things at once for an entire afternoon? There is such a thing as spreading yourself too thinly.

I know people who’d happily sit and type away while in an internal meeting, but wouldn’t dream of doing so when meeting a new business prospect. This thought-process for me is a validation of my point. Talking to the top of a laptop, or staring at someone tapping on his or her phone hardly inspires confidence does it? It certainly doesn’t make your team feel as if they’re worthy of your attention.

There’s a danger in ignoring the people around you – people that you can influence in a much more effective and richer way by having a real conversation with. As such, I’m calling for a bit of balance people. I love what social sites provide me with, as well as the convenience – but you still can’t beat in-person interaction for real business value.

I could, as suggested, provide a solution to said problem – but surely that’s just common sense no? Turn off your phone when you’re in a meeting, or just pay some simple courtesy to the people around you by not getting your phone out mid-conversation.


POSTED IN: TECH
Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:30 (GMT+00)
12 Responses
1.

You're absolutely right. I've started to switch my phone to silent when I'm speaking with someone. It bugs me even more when people take calls during meetings.

So, from now on, I'm not going to even look at my phone when speaking to someone - inspired by our chat and this post :)

Paul Walsh
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 08:25 GMT
2.

cell phone is annoying, it brings no pleasure, except, ppl with disabilities...i think we are all a bit disabled.

jimmy
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 09:08 GMT
3.

This is no new phenomena, but is getting increasingly worse - with mobile devices and their doting owners in particular. The mobile has become the equivalent of a dummy, a comfort blanket. The anti-social nature it brings out in people (sometimes myself included, embarassingly) is plain rude in a social OR business context. It is idiot behaviour - half listening and half playing with the toy, convincing ourseleves that this is all critical activity. Have a few screwed-up balls of paper at the ready in that situation - if we act like children, then we should be punished in similar fashion!

There is still an annoying trend of using ringtones - why?! I have a subtle tone, and/or vibrate - why on earth people need to enforce their bad taste in music via their ringtones is beyond me. Acceptable for teenagers, but adults - come on! Grumpy ol' man rant end ... :)

Paul Littlebury
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 09:34 GMT
4.

I must admit that I have been guilty of this in the past - being the mobile geek that I am I find it hard at times to switch off...

However, because of this, when I *do* 'unplug' or even simply ignore my phone when it is ringing or beeping - it speaks volumes about the company that I'm keeping/meeting.


James Whatley
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 11:30 GMT
5.

It's funny, people do do that don't they, they don't even realise most of the time, it's auto-pilot. The next time I go into a tweeting, I'll hit the off button too.

Rob Watts
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 12:42 GMT
6.

haha spot on although I've noticed that my friends in social media have actually got some pretty good ettiquette when it comes to stuff like this - my friends who work in the music industry or fashion are constantly on their blackberries and you feel completely superfluous to the conversation, at least a lot of people that work in 'social media' understand the need to give it a rest sometimes.

Charles
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 12:44 GMT
7.

I'd allow someone to have their phones on if they were awaiting very big/serious news...someone giving birth, someone ill..that type of thing. Else, if anyone started messing with their mobile mid meeting I'd tell them to turn it off. If they didn't heed my warning and thus, understand politeness, courtesy and professionalism I would probably just throw them out the window. After nicking their wallet and cutting their tie in half.

Manners do not cost a thing

Scott Jones
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 14:33 GMT
8.

You try going to a f**kign mobile web conference. It makes you wonder why anyone bothered making the trek there in the first place.

CT Moore
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 14:46 GMT
9.

Well where I work it looks bad form to put your phone down! I can see how it can look bad but at mobile software companies it's the norm.

Mauricio Reyes
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 14:54 GMT
10.

Hi all. Thanks for your comments :)

I seemed to have touched a nerve with some, and brought an existing problem to the fore for others.

There's a definite division in opinion. But I think Scott has nailed it with his 'manners don't cost a thing' comment. Good call

VC

Vikki
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 15:01 GMT
11.

I have to add there is nothing more off-putting when you are on a date and someone looks at their phone/answers/responds to a text.

Brooke
Tue, 28-Oct-2008 16:35 GMT
12.

yeah - put ya fones away !

jox mcrox
Wed, 29-Oct-2008 17:57 GMT

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