Part two of Kate Kotler's column on why teens should receive social education about how to respectfully and appropriately behave online...
I know that when I was a teenager that’s how I felt. The difference
between my generation - which is not so largely removed from the
generation of teens I serve as Community Manager of Meez.com - is that
when I was feeling bitter and angry I’d just hole up in my bedroom,
listen to Morrissey or the Smiths, smoke pot and paint my fingernails
black to piss off my Mom.
These days it’s a whole new story. Kids - as young as six or seven
- are online everyday being exposed to all that there is in the
boarder-less realm of cyberspace.
And, what are they learning?
Apparently they’re learning how to be violent, abusive, Internet bullies from what I’ve observed.
Here is the innate problems with kids on the Internet: you want to
expose them to the tools to enrich their lives; want to expose them to
the global community - but, at the same time you want to give them well
defined boundaries and teach them the consequences of their actions
online.
The thing that has always - ALWAYS - bothered me about life online
is that people hide behind the anonymity of the Internet. They say and
do things that they’d never have the balls to say or do to someone in
real life.
For example, I got a comment from a teenager on my personal blog yesterday stating:
“Why dont you go kill yourself? You seriously are the ugliest thing
on the internetz. Not to mention you have a gaping vagina has a mouth
and pale furry skin. Adorkablegrrl? Moar like
giantvaginamouthwhalefurrycumsuckingnewfag. Please shutdown computer
and cut wrists.”
Aside from the fact that Leetspeak, TXT speak and bad grammar drive
me bonkers, this is a classic example of one of those situations where
if the commenter had met me face to face, he/she wouldn’t have the
cahones to say what he said from safe behind his/her computer monitor
to me.
It’s chickenshit behavior. Moreover, it’s teenagers testing their boundaries.
My point is that once amusing - though somewhat disturbing - web
collectives have left the hands of the clever adults who started them
and been passed into the hands of teenagers who have no idea what
appropriate Internet behavior consists of.
And, it’s about time we start teaching this. Otherwise, the whole
medium will spin out of control into a cesspool of bad pr0n videos and
nonsensical speech patterns that it takes a military coder to
extrapolate a message from.
I impress again - teenagers need boundaries - this is how they learn
right from wrong and how to function as healthy individuals in
society. Many websites designed for teen users have developed
structure and disciplinary actions to help illuminate those boundaries.
So little Jimmy123KY decides to call SarahMN a “slut bag cunt.”
Nice, right?
Jimmy types that in and whammo - he cannot post it - WTF, man? Then
you hear the cries of “censorship” all across your boards. Truthfully,
I have no problem with the words slut or cunt - I use them often - but,
there’s two differentiations: 1. I’m 35, 2. I don’t CALL people “slut
bag cunts.”
What am I trying to teach here? A boundary - there it is - you
cannot call someone else a profane name. And, they hate it - HATE IT -
but, it’s so necessary.
Or, how about the kid - yes kid - who left the lovely comment on my
personal blog yesterday How do we teach that child that the Internet
isn’t anonymous and that there are consequences for their actions and
words?
Well, a start is by simply repeating that message over and over again.
And, in fact, as we move along into the Cyberage the Internet is
less and less private and anonymous. You can’t post anything online
w/out it coming up in Google (I know this, because it’s how I research
all my dates before meeting them... you know, the serial killer fear.)
And, before long it will take mere seconds to track down those posting
offensive material that crosses the line from sickly funny into just
plain old abusive.
This is a rapidly growing area of education - as my Mom the Doctor
of Education pointed out to me - I didn’t even think about the fact
that I’m back in the trenches teaching again. It’s true though. And,
we need more people committed to it’s goals: to protect children from
all which is bad in cyberspace and to teach them how to be productive
members of online communities.
Personally, this is an exciting challenge for me; and, I am anxious to see where it leads me in my career.
Kate Kotler is a freelance writer from San Francisco, CA and is the Content & Community Manager of Meez.com.
Image via Nancy's Collectables