The internet is a rather inappropriate place. I’ve written about this before not only on BitchBuzz Tech, but over at MIEN Magazine, however, it seems that when the conversation about online etiquette is never really over.
The more aware people become of the Internet, the more complicated things get. It used to be that your online life was your ONLINE LIFE, and it was completely separate from all things “real” – like your family, your job, and even your friends. However, as we all know too well, our mothers are on Facebook (hi, Mom) and our grandparents read our blogs (hi, Granddad) and our bosses and co-workers follow us on Twitter (hi, BitchBuzz team!).
If you have any sense of self-control, social awareness and the ability to censor yourself, this isn’t necessarily a problem. However, awkward situations can and will arise as people are sensitive beasts that can’t help but take things the wrong way. Their neurosis and insecurities can easily take over, and they think every grumpy Facebook status update is aimed at them, and every less-than-pleased Tweet is about them, as well. The Internet, they believe, really does revolve around them.
There are some new situations I’ve come across and observed lately that I think need addressing. Just think of me as an observer as well as someone who is trying to help lessen the amount of Internet Awkward in our everyday lives... for the greater good!
“What ever happened to us?”
Facebook messages are not a way to revive a fallen friendship. Especially not when said messages come two years apart. Chances are if Person A didn’t respond in 2008, they’re not going to want to respond when Person B sends a message in 2010. Especially when said persons hadn’t actually spoken in real life since 2007.
We all wonder what happened to friendships lost. We all ponder what Sarah, Bob and Jill are up to, and why we don’t go to the pub like we used to. But Facebook isn’t the way you go about bringing back to life something that died years ago. Try a phone call. Try an email. Or try keeping your “whatever happened to us back in 1997?” thoughts to yourself...
“I know I’m your God Mother, but blocking you on Facebook is the only way...”
If you like to keep your family and online persona separate, I have one of two things to say to you.
1) That’s your choice, but...
2) Good fucking luck.
These days, especially in the Western World, it’s damn near impossible to hide your online shenanigans from your family. Even if you have no shenanigans to hide, your family (whether it be your younger cousins or Aunt Shirley in Nebraska), if they have Google or Facebook, will hunt your ass down, and send you that dreaded request of online friendship.
Of course you have the option to say, “Hey, family. I get up to some things online and express some opinions that you may not agree with, or be comfortable with. Therefore, I hope you don’t mind me not adding you as a friend on Facebook.” Especially if this means that you will still come over for dinner once a month, and remember to send them an impersonal eCard on their birthday. After all, who can blame you for not wanting your mom to see photos of your drunken exploits on Facebook?
However, establishing an online friendship with a family member, and then subsequently deleting them (and ignoring their emails and texts, as well) is...well, the kind of behaviour that, at this point, only a therapist can help walk you through. If you’d like to delete someone from your life, only more traditional (ie not “social media”) forms of communication will do. And even then, things won't be easy. (Especially Christmas dinner.)
“My voicemail must have accidentally unfollowed and deleted you from my handbag...”
What do voicemails, text messages, emails bouncing back, cookies, caching, or Facebook deleting friends and Twitter unfollowing people all have in common? They’re all excuses people make for their own actions. Yes, technology gets unjustly blamed for a lot of people’s human errors and mistakes.
I’m sure you heard these excuses plenty of times, like when an estate agent claims they called you four times last night to make sure it’s OK if they bring potential buyers round your flat at 7am – but it went “straight to voicemail every time”. So when you’re caught in the shower by three strangers, it’s because YOU didn’t check the phantom voicemails you were left.
Or how about when your boss says that they most definitely did let you know they were hiring a replacement for you and had invited you to a meeting about it, and it’s just “very odd” that you didn’t get the email. Or the Outlook invite to the meeting. Nor did you get that missed call reminding you about it. Funny that!
People are so quick to use technology failing as an excuse for their own fuck-ups, and even worse, when they don’t have the balls to admit that they simply didn’t invite you to their birthday, or that they did, in fact, manually unfollow you on Twitter.
Man up, people! And stop blaming technology! Sure technology can fail us sometimes, but please don’t turn into the Little Boy Who Cried Fail Whale.
Image via Mike Licht, Nations' Capital's Flickr