Getting an email from someone you've never met in real life - of presumably someone that you *have* met but would never invite over for dinner - asking why it is that you've unfollowed them on Twitter is pretty annoying.
Even more annoying is when you get confronted in real life by someone you've unfollowed, or just have never bothered following because, well, they're annoying. If you've ever run into someone who was angry that you unfollowed them - you know how awful it is.
"Oh hey, I'm Jenny!"
"I know. I follow you on Twitter."
"Oh I think I follow you, too!"
"No...you don't. Well you did. But you unfollowed me last week."
"...right."
Those situations happen to the best of us. But even more awkward than that is when one of your IRL friends unfollows you.
When people who don't know, have met once, or dislike anyway unfollow you, no big deal. You're not going to email them and be like, "Dude! The hell? I only have 342 followers now. Thanks a lot."
But when someone you know, and have known for years, suddenly decides to click that button, and unfollows your ass - that's awkward.
It's the equivelent of someone you thought you were friends with, seeing you enter the room at a party, rolling their eyes and promptly leaving.
Ugh. I don't want to hear a thing she has to say.
It's like if you were sitting a table talking together with a group of friends, the Unfollower would plug their ears and hum whenever you spoke. Or perhaps throw a hissy fit while you're mid-sentence, screaming "OH MY GOD I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!", storming out of the room, and slamming the door for that extra touch of melodrama.
It's awkward.
In the world of social media and social networking, things are very black and white. You're either friends or you're not. You "ignore" or "deny" or "accept" or "decline". You are connected, or you're not. You're following each other, or you're not. So when you have a relationship with someone in real life, and they've suddenly unfriended you online, I suppose that's a massive hint that you're not longer friends IRL, either.
In the words of Jackie and Debra, it's very: "I'm not talking to you, but I'll text you to let you know that I'm not talking to you."
So what do you do?
Just ask them what's up!
Send a text. Make a phone call. Write a disappointed sounding email. Fire up a smoke signal. Show up at their house in the middle of the night with mascara running down your face demanding an explanation - whatever. Up to you.
It may feel petty to call someone and be like, "Hey are we OK, you've hypothetically unfollowed me on a micro-blogging website." But, let's be real. Our number of followers, our number of friends, those virtual, digitalized friendships that connect us to people we like in real life mean something to us. They represent a online version of your friendship.
See? We're friends in real life, and online. We're friends in ALL WAYS POSSIBLE.
Take one of those avenues of friendship away, and the rest of it will be affected. You cannot sneakily unfriend one of your IRL friends online and expect the other person to be cool with it.
Alternatively, if you've unfollowed someone that you're friends with in real life, perhaps you might want to give them the heads up. If it's, "Sorry, I only follow 34 people and you reply to everyone all the time, and it just clogs up my feed." Just tell them that.
If it's, "You tweeted about being sexually attracted to Shia LeBoeuf and I feel like I can no longer respect you as a person." Fine.
But you cannot expect your online friendship to be totally separate from your real life. If you want to unfriend someone in real life, then do it. Don't just sit there unfollowing them, erasing them from your connections list or blocking them on Myspace.
I suppose you could call it Acting Like An Adult, 2.0.