Are Women Narcissistic, Insecure Facebook Users?

By Becca Caddy

A report by Oxygen Media and Light Speed Research earlier this summer explored young women's use of Facebook, suggesting that we're on it too much, we're obsessed with it, that it takes priority over going to the toilet and we'd be injecting it directly into our eyeballs if only we could.

It's not the suggestion that we spend too much time on Facebook that annoys me - we probably do - what gets to me is what we're always assumed to be using it for.

Two interesting points from the report include:

58% use Facebook to keep tabs on “frenemies” and, 

49% of women believe it’s fine to keep tabs on a boyfriend by having access to his accounts.

I'm not going to lie and say that I haven’t done both of these things before, but it's not what I go on Facebook to do, and it certainly doesn’t rule my life.

You only have to have a quick Google around to see what the tabloids have to say about how Facebook is making women become addicted to online friendships or turning us into insecure narcissists.

These kinds of reports and the news stories that follow suggest we check Facebook hourly or more in the hope someone somewhere has messaged us, or tagged us in a flattering picture. Or that we're longingly staring at other pretty girls and ‘frenemies’ that we wished we looked like in a rage of hatred and jealousy. Or that we're constantly hitting refresh on our boyfriends' profiles just to make sure that random girl who used to text him hasn't left a comment. GIVE ME A BREAK!

What a bunch of dependent, narcissistic yet desperate losers we are. Why are we always painted out to be neurotic nobodies who are obsessed with what our boyfriends are doing when I'm pretty sure that this really isn't the case.

So, what do we use Facebook for if we're not using it to stalk the opposite sex?

Well I've had a strange realisation that I'm beginning to use it as a bit of a street style blog. Maybe it's due to the unrealistic images we see day in and day out in the media that I just don't have any faith in the miracle product modelled by someone with no substance who has been photoshopped to within an inch of her life.

I like to get inspiration from people who I know and who I know are real – which is why bloggers are perceived as more trusted than the media.  And no I'm not a crazy stalker documenting a certain person's outfits or copying my best friend, I just find it much more worthwhile than looking at unachievable and unaffordable styles elsewhere. After all, companies often move into social media because they're told people trust people like themselves and this is the same kind of thing – e.g. I’m more likely to believe a make-up product recommendation from someone I know.

The media often paint a sad and pathetic image of how young women use social networks, when really we're making our own rules and using them how we choose. 

I'd love to know what others think of this, do you stalk your boyfriend on Facebook, get style tips or not even use it at all?  

Image via Mike Licht, Notion's Capital's Flickr

POSTED IN: TECH
Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:00 (GMT+00)
4 Responses
1.

Phht! Women are what made Facebook a success, so we have to find ways to make them feel bad about it so they SPEND MORE MONEY. Social media helps people sidestep a lot of advertising and share direct information. I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends who are geographically far away and to network with colleagues and -- this is kind of important and probably NOT in the questions they asked -- as a way to model professional behaviour to my students, who see me as both a working writer, professional academic and still a real person with goofy friends.

K. A. Laity
Thu, 09-Sep-2010 13:43 GMT
2.

Everyone on Facebook is a bit of a narcissist. And guess what, tabloids/world: there's nothing wrong with that! If people choose to take their social interaction and vanity online, it's their problem. Facebook usage gets too much attention big thanks to "studies" and "publishings" like the one mentioned in this article. It shouldn't even be a big deal. Now we have to worry about how we use Facebook?! Please.

Anne
Thu, 09-Sep-2010 14:38 GMT
3.

I personally hate facebook and am only on because my actual friends use it. What I really can't stand are female dominated facebook game applications like Farmville and Sorority life that seem to be sucking people in.

Naomi
Mon, 13-Sep-2010 01:39 GMT
4.

@ K. A. Laity I think you're right that the way these kinds of questionnaires and "researchers" work are to guide the questions so they get the "dramatic" answers they're looking for. Like you, I think that most of us use it as a tool to keep in touch with people who we don't see face to face on a regular basis - it really is as simple as that.

@ Anne I agree that it shouldn't really matter, we all use it how we choose and that's the beauty of a social network like Facebook that doesn't restrict the kind of content we share or the way we interact. Maybe people like me shouldn't get so riled up by what essentially is "just another sensationalist kind of study"

@ Naomi I've never tried any of the game applications like Farmville - although I did get a request to join Frontierville the other day?! - but it certainly seems a bit strange that so many people that I wouldn't have thought would be so "taken in" by online games seem to excuse their obsession as it's on Facebook.

But then again, I'm not really one to judge, I probably spend a lot more time on social networks than they do buying chickens - well probably.

Becca Caddy
Mon, 13-Sep-2010 13:53 GMT

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