Dear The New York Times,
Blow me.
You’re my homepage. You’re my hometown paper. You’re my homey. I spend hours a day reading current events. I spend hours a day walking around with my iPhone. I spend $15/month for unlimited digital access. So it’s really problematic for me when your iPhone application CRASHES MY PHONE EVERY TIME I TRY TO READ THE BLOODY NEWS.
Ahem.
Let’s blog this out, NYT. I’m sure we can come to some understanding whereby your application will be reconfigured, and I’m not stuck paying for a service that actively attacks my personal technology. Here’s what I think you should be aware of:
Your application – “NYTimes” – stalls or crashes almost every time I open it. On a good day, I can exit the app and go about my news-ing on other apps; on a great day, I am able to read one or two articles on “NYTimes” before it freezes. Sadly, most of my days are spent frozen in time from the very start-up. I have tried deleting this application a couple times and reloading it, always to the same effect. Bought a couple new versions at the iTunes SuperStore: still freezing my button off. The crash deletes all of my favorites, and I have to reboot my iPhone every time this happens. It’s mildly enraging.
Now, I know what you’re going to say: it’s all the consumer’s fault. It’s because I have a silly, old, brand-new iPhone 3GS. If I would only buy a new iPhone 4, then I wouldn’t have this problem. Yep. If I would only spend $200 on a brand new piece of equipment I do not need, your tiny computer program would magically work.
Blow me.
All of my other applications – even the craptastic Facebook app – work on my last-generation phone. It’s just “NYTimes” that is out to kill my handy. And I’m not the only one with problems. Quickly skimming through the iTunes reviews of “NYTimes,” it seems as if most users have the same giant problem. The current version of “NYTimes,” which was released on August 8th, barely two weeks ago, receives two stars – fewer than the dismal three and a half stars that every other version of the application received.
Of the 144 people who have reviewed the latest version, 90 of them gave it one star. One. Star. The application “Sprinkle: Water Splashing Fire Fighting Fun” receives four stars. Dearest New York Times, WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH HARDER THAN SPRINKLE?
It seems, due to your gross incompetence, that I will have no other choice but to load alternative news applications en masse into my iPhone. NPR’s brilliant, award-winning application has become my go-to for current events. Real Clear Politics feeds my political junkie habit, and I fill the remaining void with a plethora of foreign news organizations: BBC, Le Monde, Der Spiegel, AlJazeera. I’ve tried to make it work, NYT, but you spurn me. So I’m moving on.
Except there is still the matter of the $15 a month – you can expect an irate text rant about that real soon.
Oh yes I will.
Yours in Indignance,
Emily